Make That Drunk Girl “Woot” Sound For Me


I mean, I would say “holla for me,” but I don’t have that much street cred.  I figure I could call upon those who’ve had one jeigermeister too many to give me a “woot.”  Not that I touch the stuff.  Been there, done that, clutched the toilet bowl for hours.  I stick to non-vomitous drinks now, but I’m beyond my college years.

Why the cheers, you ask?  Last week Robert Rubin from The Mainland nominated me for the Versatile Blogger award for my blog whining about final exams.  It’s really awesome and a little shocking considering how much of a newbie I am here–can’t thank him enough for the attaboy!

And when he posted it on his blog, he said “Funny or Tragic -If you like dark humor with lots of illustrations, be sure to check this blog out today”.  

Really, I thought.  My humor is dark?  I mean, I knew it wasn’t PG rated, but dark?  Lewis Black, Richard Pryor and George Carlton are dark.  I’m just…not fluffy bunnies.  Don’t get my wrong–I have no problem with dark humor.  I love it.  I just didn’t think I’d pushed the spectrum far enough to be able and call myself “dark humor.”  And then I considered the fact that for my last post I hunted down a photo of a crosswalk so I could draw in a cartoon corpse to illustrate my annoyance at people who are not capable of talking and walking at the same time.  Huzzah.

It’s eminently clear I am no longer Anakin.  I am Darth Vader, embracing the hate.  Join me, Luke.

Darth vader can even turn fluffy bunnies to the darkside

Back to the award. There are rules to follow.  You thank the person that sent it to you and provide a link back to their website. And just in case you got sidetracked by the dark side and fluffy bunnies, that was Rob Rubin from The Mainland.  His Guide To Picking the Right Alcohol for Surviving Holiday Stress is a three part lifesaver.  Next: Tell 7 things about yourself.  Then, you send the award to 5 versatile bloggers and of course, notify everyone that you gave them the award. .

Sooooo…I’m supposed to give 7 random facts about myself.  Urg.

  1. I was actually bummed when M&Ms got rid of light brown ones.  Blue is an unnatural M&M color, people.
  2. I was named after my parents went to the hospital nursery and found some other girl with that same (lame) name.  The thing is, I went to elementary school with that girl.  She was a bitch even by the fourth grade…which was about the time I found out what the inspiration of my name was.  My name is a bad stripper name as it is.  Naming me after this mean, scrawny runt of a girl did not make it any better.  Yeah, yeah, I could change my name, but who does that after thirty some odd years unless they’re in secret custody because they’re hiding from the mob?
  3. Real clowns don’t bother me at all, but doll clowns do.  Poltergeist scarred me for life.
  4. I get aggitated and have to change the channel whenever The Amazing Race is on tv, because I get so upset how rude the contestants are–they yell at the poor locals and never say thank you.  Way to be cultural ambassadors, jackasses.
  5. I have a taxidermy badger in my office.  Don’t ask.
  6. I wear either low ankle socks or knee high, seventies style socks with the color stripe on top.  None of that in-between crap for me.
  7. In seventh grade a transfer kid from Amsterdam taught me how to say “will you have sex with me” in dutch.  He thought he was tricking me by saying it was something else, but I wasn’t fooled at all.  And now I know how to get my groove on in the Netherlands.

Here are the five blogs I’m nominating.

In part I’m sure the practice is to let you explore new blogs but I’m fairly sure all these blogs are more popular than mine!  It’s like given a construction paper valentine to the cool kid in class.  Well, I made mine with beads instead of glitter, so take THAT.  (I know that most people write descriptions about the blogs next to the links, but the professor in me refuses to reward that kind of laziness, so click on the links and figure it out yourself.)

  1. Mainstreet Musings
  2. Lettuce Be Clear 
  3. Flourish In Progress
  4. The Eternal Loop 
  5. Boggleton Drive 

I have way more I could list, but for three things:

1. they just got an award of some sort (like Peas and Cougars, who is so deft she has a contest going right now that I should win, I should.  Obviously my life is half empty.  Why not fill it with gifts?),

2. They are so madly popular that it’d take them forever to even notice I gave them an award (like the Bloggess.  I still get all puffed up about her reading an email I sent her and replying.  She replied, dudes.)

3. Or they are so wildly without cursing or bad juju that I don’t want my eviliciousness to rub off on them.  (Like Behind Green Eyes.  Totally nice, sweet girl.  I would ruin her, I tell you)

I’ll add them to my blogroll.  Eventually.  When exams are over and I’ve ingested mass quantities of fudge and wine.

11 thoughts on “Make That Drunk Girl “Woot” Sound For Me

  1. It’s all about perspective. When most of the bloggers I interact with are middle aged mommies, your blog is definitely dark compared to them. But dark is a relative term. Kind of like the difference between a Starbucks Vanilla Latte and motor oil.
    Thanks for the link BTW!

    • Most middle age moms I know are bleak, dark people who’ve lost all hope since their children turned early teens. There’s nothing like a 16 year old to crush your dream that you will be the mythical Cool Parent.

  2. I actually hadn’t noticed that the brown M&Ms were gone. now this shocking revelation shall haunt all future bags of peanut M&Ms that I cram down my gullet like I’m searching for that one bag still surviving from the early 90s in the back corner of my parent’s pantry and without the hip blue chocolate stale morsel in sight.

    actually, as memories often spark other memories hidden deep down (I’d better stop this inward thinking lest I find things I’ve purposefully repressed), do they still make Mini M&Ms?

  3. If you were truly dark, you wouldn’t send me a paper valentine heart–you’d send me a REAL heart ripped from the chest of your crosswalk corpse.

    Thank you for the Versatile Blogger award. It means a lot coming from someone as funny and clever as you. I shall post it on the doorposts of my house and on my gates. Wait. Scratch that. I’m thinking of a mezuzah. I shall post the award on my blog.

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