“My Milkshake” Doesn’t Mean Breasts This Time

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Ugh.  When people ask how I am, that is the first thing that pops into my head.  Because I am out of control, people.

I haven’t exercised for months.  I’ve been dealing with a bone spur that means I don’t run anymore.  Or do much of anything.  And that was okay, until Christmas came.  You see, there are some things I don’t make any other time of the year, and most of them are fatty. But most importantly, Christmas is fudge time.

I sent a lot of the fudge away.  I tried my best to pawn it off on friends and family, but it was so good.  I couldn’t help but make a lot of it.  I had to try each batch, didn’t I?  And so I gained weight.  

And it wasn’t just the fudge–it was the many many helpings of potatoes.  I am such a slut for potatoes.  I eat green things…mostly unwillingly.  Unless it comes from our garden.  Then I eat a ton of cucumbers and squash because I worked hard to make that crap grow.  But in the winter?  No garden.  Just fudge.

So we decided to buy a fancy-shmancy blender, a Vitamix.  They use them at smoothie places.  Once my husband actually ORDERS the damned thing, I’m planning on making smoothies every morning.  The green ones.  Healthy crap that will hopefully jumpstart a calorie reduction and healthier diet.  I would appreciate any recipes.  Lemme rephrase that: I would appreciate any recipes that don’t taste like the Jolly Green Giant vomited in my cup.

I keep telling myself I need to do this for my own good.  I know how hard it is to loose five pounds without exercise, hell even with exercise in my case–and I’m about 2 months away from being able to run again, the doctor thinks.  I could tack on even more weight if I keep to my pace.  I’ve got to wrangle the beast that is my belly.   I have to remind myself that when I put on my jeans, I don’t need a belt anymore.  Now I feel like this:

So send in healthy (non-vomitous) recipes, folks.  I plan on starting with the new semester, forcing myself to kickstart this thing when it can become part of my new routine. And we’ll see what wonderful things I have to say about it all…

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13 thoughts on ““My Milkshake” Doesn’t Mean Breasts This Time

  1. More power to you. I got a 12 pound package of peanut butter fudge from my grandma for Christmas. While I sincerely appreciated her sending it, because I couldn’t be home for Christmas, I had to force myself to give most of it away so I didn’t eat it all before the Epiphany!

    I’ve got a bunch of great, healthy recipes though. Maybe they’ll do you more good than me!

    • Absolutely! And I’m just awful about veggies. I’m been doing lots of research on green shakes. We’ll see if I can find one that doesn’t taste like liquid kale. I’ll pass it on if I do!

  2. I don’t have any green smoothie recipes, but I’m trying the non-dairy vegetarian diet and I’ve lost four pounds in the first week. I also dream about cheese. But I’m trying to focus on the lost four pounds in the first week part. I do have a recipe for a peanut butter root stew that I got from another blogger, but I’m guessing you don’t want that one…

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