Don’t Mess With Ferris

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Okay, I had a whole other post planned, but I HAD to stop and write this one because of the dire necessity.  See, I have a few younger friends, but I have one in particular, let’s call her Sira, who has issues.  Major, Major issues.  You see, Sira was home schooled.  She missed some major markers of popular culture.  Some things I can dismiss, like her complete cluelessness on South Park or Cowboy Beebop.  I mean, she can speak multiple languages and has all sorts of geeky endeavors, right?  But there are some travesties that can not be overlooked.  Some of these I cannot grant as home schooled issues.  They are simply age issues.  Here’s a snippet of our conversation that led to my horror:

Me: “I weep for the future”.  Tell me you know what movie that was from.
Sira:  don’t write me off….i totally don’t know it.
Me: (GASP) Ferris Bueller’s day off!
Sira: but i watched the big lebowski last night!!! that should count for something!!
Me: OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, I JUST THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T PLACE IT. MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!
Sira: SHUT UP!!!!!
Me: NO!
Sira: SHUT UP!!!!!
Me: You NEED HELP!  It’s a classic!  THE 80’s classic!
Sira: I knowwwwww….I just never saw these as a kid!
Me: I bet you haven’t seen ET or Poltergeist either
Sira: ET scared the shit of me when i was little!  Poltergeist, no…
Me: For the love of…nevermind.  I’m writing a blog post on this.
Sira: Greeeeeeat
My husband sees I’m turning purple and asks what’s wrong.  I tell him she hasn’t seen Ferris Buller’s Day Off.
Me: My husband says you are unAmerican.
Sira: Shut UP!  You’re not helping!
Me: Oh, we are.  We are so helping you.  You are deficient, girl.
Sira: you should make a list of the like top 10 or 15 movies i need to see in case i die this week

And so I shall.  Because if you were to walk up to me and tell me you hadn’t seen these movies, I would take that as badly as seeing you beat a puppy to death.  Using a baby seal as your weapon.  In front of a kindergarten class of ewoks.

I’m not saying these are the best movies of all time, but these are the movies that are classics from my generation (besides the obvious like Big or Top Gun or Terminator that everyone who has basic cable has seen a gazillion times), and tend to be the ones that I quote on a daily basis.  Hell, most of these are responsible for half the remakes and rehashes you get in teen movies today.  Except that Twilight crap. No one from my generation takes ANY responsibility for that.

MOVIES YOU MUST SEE TO EXIST TO ME

  1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  2. A Fish Called Wanda
  3. Breakfast Club
  4. Real Genius
  5. Princess Bride
  6. 16 Candles
  7. Harry Met Sally
  8. Goonies
  9. ET
  10. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
  11. Willow and/or Legend
  12. Better Off Dead
  13. Trading Places
  14. Big Trouble in Little China (it’s soooo bad it’s good)

Other important movies for purely personal reasons (and because I will continue to mess with her til she’s seen them):

Searching for Bobby Fischer, Sneakers, Weird Science, Steel Magnolias, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Rashoman, Amadeus, The Prime of Ms Jean Brodie, Sense and Sensibility, Good Will Hunting, Chasing Amy/Clerks/Clerks 2, Super Troopers, Thomas Crown Affair, The Royal Tenenbaums, Wonder Boys, Dogma, Confidence, Silence of the Lambs, The Big Chill, L.A. Confidential, Fifth Element, Inception, the Matrix, Starwars (the late 70’s early 80’s ones before Lucas started destroying the franchise).

I’m sure there are many others, but these are the ones that I can see from the couch.  Ahem.  Please, go ahead and add to the list.  This girl needs all the help she can get.

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14 thoughts on “Don’t Mess With Ferris

  1. Gotta take issue with this one. We homeschool our 5 year old and he is waking encyclopedia of pop culture. He loves to go around reciting every e-trade baby commercial. But to avoid future mockery I will make sure to add Ferris to his ciriculum.

    • Oh, great idea, man. When I have kids, that’s going to be the FIRST thing I do. “You see these babies! They e-trade! Why can’t you amount to anything?! Stop sucking on that bottle and get to work!”

  2. Risa

    Ehem, there are *lots* of public schoolers that don’t cite South Park every 5 seconds….and there are a bazillion homeschoolers that do. Juuuuust saying. 😉

    And wooooow. Pardon me while I take the next couple months off, invest heavily in popcorn, and have a classics marathon all.day.long.

  3. Leyendo esta entrada deduzco que piensas que existe una lista de películas “imprescindibles” que todo el mundo debe haber visto para atreverse a salir a la calle sin pasar vergüenza.

    Resulta que yo tampoco he visto ni la mitad de esas películas. Y no soy una persona incompleta ni discapacitada.

    Pero si esa lista de películas básicas ha generado en ti la actitud que muestras haciendo burla de los demás, entonces me alegro de no compartir esa “formación”. Con mi lista de películas he salido más respetuoso con las personas.

    Cada uno va llenando su vida con experiencias diferentes, con películas diferentes, con libros diferentes y con relaciones diferentes. Cada uno somos diferentes. No me gustaría vivir en una sociedad de clones.

    Creo que sería muy empobrecedor para la sociedad que todo el mundo tuviera que haber visto las mismas películas, leído los mismos libros y asistido a la misma escuela. Experiencias así, totalitarias, ya se han sufrido en el mundo.

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