Tongues, Vaginas and Cold, Hard Cash

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I am very thankful that the Bachelor is almost over.  Because then my husband will have one less reality tv show to watch, and I can watch more worthwhile tv again. But I must admit, I was incredibly tortured by the show the last episode.  And my evil husband just laughed and laughed and laughed at my horror.

Okay.  First of all, it has always annoyed me that every conversation Ben has with any of the girls, he either kisses them or sends them home.  Fine.  But what is really irritating is the fact that every single time he leans in for a kiss he licks his lips.  Watch it sometime.  He looks like a lizard.

What’s even more ridiculous is the fact that all these crying, over emotional girls that are all (of course) madly in love with him are living in a giant vagina.  They totally are!  Here’s the hotel they were staying:

Technically, it’s a Trump Building, but COME ON. And of course they are staying at the top, living in the penthouse clitoris.  What else do I have to say about the show?  The host is lame.  He just pops in and says “there’s one rose left,” as if we couldn’t see that. That is his entire job.  He gets paid a butt-ton for  uttering one sentence per show, while he gets to stay is spiffy, tropic locales.  Dude, I really feel like an idiot.  A college degree and hard work?  What’s that gotten me?  A college degree and hard work.  What has walking into a room and uttering one sentence got him?  MILLIONS.

Let that be a lesson for all children everywhere: skip getting an education. Just learn how to stand there and look pretty until you make some shallow, token statement.

Okay.  Next week we will NOT be talking about popular culture at all.  Pinkie swear.

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8 thoughts on “Tongues, Vaginas and Cold, Hard Cash

  1. That’s how I have always felt about Ed McMahon or Andy Richter. They make millions and the show isn’t even about them. They just throw in an occasional comment now and then.

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