Kung Fu Donut Attack


So, a few weeks ago my husband and I stopped at a local donut place.  For some reason this town has a THOUSAND donut places.  I don’t get why we need quite so many of them, but that’s not my call.  Anyways, we’d driven by this place a few times and decided to stop solely based on it’s name: Masters Donuts.

In the parking lot we both agree that it would be most awesome if this place did, infact, live up to the promise it’s name holds and be a perfect blend of dojo and donuts.  Who wouldn’t want a little donut action to go along with their kung fu?

But no, it was just a donut shop.  A donut shop that was supposed to be open for 4 more hours, but had few donuts left.  And I must say, when I go to any bakery sorta place, be in cupcakes, donuts, whatever, I expect there to BE some of whatever they are selling in the store.  I went to a cupcake place once and they were sold out 3 hours before closing.  Which I thought sucked, since they still were open and had their sign on.  A friend who loved the place later argued that it just showed how great they were.  I said it just showed how jackass they are.  If you can’t plan a little better for demand, then BAKE SOME MORE.  It’s all you sell, genius.  If you went into a hardware store and they said “sorry, all out of nails and bolts” you’d be pissed.  So why would any other type of shop be any different?

Where was I?

Right.  Donuts.  Well, they had a scattering, so we decided to pick a few different ones to try out.  But the girl behind the counter bugged the hell out of me.  First of all, she was skinny as a rail, and I just knew she could eat three damned boxes without any problems.  I vaguely thought about hating her on principle.  But then I remembered she worked at a donut shop and relented.  No, what bothered me was that every time we would pick out a donut she would tilt her head and say “And then?”

Just mindlessly saying “And then” is not the best selling technique.  It might work with some people, but it doesn’t work for me.  Because she kept dragging it out, “And Theeeeen?” and I kept thinking, “Does she take me for a complete idiot?  Does she think that if she just keeps saying it, I’ll just keep ordering more?”

And then I wondered if it was some kinda insult.  Was she saying that I was a pig and clearly would eat more than what I stated?  You see, if a girl wants a slice of cheesecake, you let her have cheesecake.  But if she has a slice and you automatically throw another one at her, you are saying she’s a fattie.  I am not a fattie*.  But if I bought a donut for every “And Then?” she threw at me, I would be.

I thought it was just my negative little brain working in overdrive, so when we got in the car and my husband made a comment about her pushy selling style I felt exhonerated.  When we got home, we found out she stiffed us a donut.  I’m going to try not to analyze that one too closely.

*I’m not disparaging larger folk.  I know some lovely plus-sized ladies who are gorgeous. Fattie is a state of mind, not a size, people.  

9 thoughts on “Kung Fu Donut Attack

  1. Funny, you read “masters” and think martial arts, I read “masters” and think someone with a Masters Degree. Clearly the owners “Masters degree” is not an MBA!

    …and I totally agree.

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