1. I am not allowed to go to the bathroom. Whenever I try, the roll of paper is immediately knocked off its perch and rolled away. The idea, I’m sure, is to make my bladder burst while I try to chase her and the toilet paper down with my panties around my ankles. Why don’t I actually put it on roll? Because that means the terrorist wins.
2. I’m not allowed to wash my hands. Ever. When I do finally chase down the toilet paper and make yet another attempt, she diverts to a new tactic: death by disease. Instead of letting me actually wash my hands, she takes a dive into the sink. She’s totally down with getting herself completely wet if it means I might die of the plague.
3. I’m not allowed to brush my teeth, either. If I remove her from the sink, she bats the…
View original post 573 more words