The TP Monster

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My dog is the terror of the bathroom.  If you give him a bath, he won’t let you dry him without trying to play tug the towel.  When my husband goes to the bathroom, he jumps up, pushes him forward and ruins his aim.  When I go to the bathroom, he jumps up and takes the toilet paper from my hand.  Okay, I actually find all of these funny.  He only does these things to us, not our guests, because we laugh and they become games.

And really, he only chases my tp because I wave it like a flag.  And its funny to see his head bob as he snaps at empty air.  But damned if I don’t want to go pee by myself every once in a while.  And you know what?  I can’t.  Ever.  Because our bathroom door doesn’t close properly.

I have found there is a way to keep him from thumping on the door until he opens it.  A new game.  This is all my fault.

If he comes scurrying at the sound of the toilet lid lifting…and he always does, he will jump on the door til it pushes open.
So I have a diversion to keep him at the door and away from the last 5 pieces of toilet paper.  A rug.  Which I slowly push in the direction of the door.  It’s like waving a steak around.

Now there is something fluffy to kill, which is better than toilet paper.  But now I have a new problem to deal with, the reason I never leave the bathroom door open now…

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