I love shoe shopping. It’s a disease I inherited from my mother. I remember looking in her closet at racks of shoes, wondering why anyone on earth needed that many pair of heels. Like many diseases, it took time and age before it became apparent that I too, had taken on shoekosis.
Unlike my mother, I have not bought a thousand pair of Payless and Sears shoes. Not because I’m all that and a bag of chips; she was thrifty and we had a very tight budget when I was a kid. I admire her thrift sense. I buy more expensive brands so I just buy less of them. Hundreds of shoes? Naah. I have, oh, 40. And that’s winter AND summer shoes. Since I buy better brands, they fit better and last longer…
But I’m still thrifty. I have dog squeekies and kitteh ninja stars to buy, you know. So I go to places like TJ Maxx and Nordstrom Rack on the weekend and buy winter shoes on sale before summer and visa versa. I hunt shoes. It’s more satisfying to have nice things and smugly know you got a deal. Is that just me?
And so even though I love places like Nordstrom Rack, TJ Maxx and so forth, I really really hate what they make me go through.
What drives me crazy at these stores are the stupid, dumbass stickers they put on the shoes. First, you’re lucky if they’re on the bottom of the shoe, because if you peel it off the inside of the shoe, you have sticky crap on your foot for a year. Rubbing alcohol doesn’t get it all off, and omg it drives me nuts. But worse? All the *&%$@ stickers are always those type that are divided into a thousand small pieces that you absolutely cannot peel off at once.
I say we all join hands and riot. Lets demand important social change. Lets demand shoes that are not locked together, that are impossible to actually try on. Lets buy the shoes and then put each part of each sticker somewhere in the store. You want to know why women still don’t have equal pay, still don’t represent at least 50% of upper level jobs even though we represent the top 40% of the graduating workforce, don’t have free birth control to match the free viagra from health insurance and god knows what else? It’s because we are too busy trying to peel the stickers off our shoes.
Yeah. That’s it.