This has happened a handful of times to me, starting in 3rd grade when I moved a few blocks away. I don’t like to make a fuss, a big scene. What good can that do? I wonder if anyone else goes through the same process. I assume I’m not alone, but I thought this might explain the stages of my slow, quiet exit.
You might tug every once in a while, but you’re only doing what seems natural.
Then you try to ignore it, hoping some space will bring you both back together. But it isn’t the same.
You realize how hard it is to hold on. You think they don’t even notice your effort. Or that maybe they don’t care.
My husband was super sweet and made lasagna tonight. I noticed the same problem I always have, and wondered if the Romans made lasagna. If they did, I know why the empire really fell. Lasagna is stupid because of the cheese layer on top.
I complained about it to my husband and he took personal offense, assuming that I was criticizing his lasagna. But I was criticizing ALL lasagna. See, the cheese on top is baked and gets to be a layer of cheese, a little crispy and baked and that’s the problem! You try to cut into it and you rip off the whole layer. There is no bite-o-cheese with your other layers. This causes crankiness. The cheesy promise has been broken. Fights ensue. Marriages are broken. Nations are torn.
Of course, I found a solution. I even showed my husband with my second piece. (it was good lasagna.) Flip the lasagna upside down on your plate. That way you don’t smoosh your lasagna as you try to cut the cheese, and since it’s on the bottom it softens a little, and can be more easily cut right next to the plate surface. Thus, cheese with every bite. It was brilliant! He didn’t mimic my genius with his 2nd slice. He is skeptical. I told him just to wait. As soon as I let the world know, he could expect the Nobel board to be knocking on my door.