Whew! It’s been a while! I’ve been very stressed, sick, and overworked, but no one likes to hear that.
Too bad. You’re not paying me.
Anyways! I just had the most ridiculous thing in my head, so thought I’d share. Tonight I made cake. Coconut cake with coconut icing and coconut flakes on top. I thought of sending the photo to a friend, and then realized they would see…nothing. It is, I realized, the whitest cake on the planet. Every ingredient was white–it didn’t even use egg yolks. I wonder…does that make me cake racist? I’m not a people racist. I love all peoples. But were my baked goods as color blind?
I always use chocolate, but shouldn’t pale coconut milk, coconut shreds, cake flour and white sugar their moment to shine, too? Or did I make the equivalent of a kkk cake?
And immediately, this voice popped into my head.
When you begin hysterically giggling by yourself late at night in the kitchen while you point at a cake, you really really need a vacation.
I read. Voraciously. I love books. I don’t mean a little. And I read fast. When I was a kid, the school library refused to let me check out 10 books once in third grade. NOT because I wouldn’t read them all. Oh no, because I would read them all and entirely ignore my homework in order to do so.
Since I have work and not homework these days, and since I work to get paid, I’ve curbed these habits…a little. But when I’ve finally cleared out all my bookshelf, I start trolling on Amazon, looking for the next good read…or twelve. But when I start searching Amazon’s New Release section, I will find an author listed with a book I’ve been waiting six months for. I will be elated, pumped, eager, happy…and then I see that Amazon lied once again. It’s not a new release, it’s another 6 months away! That’s not NEW, jerkwad, that’s future release! Enter extreme rage at such trickery, such horrible taunting. I soon turn bitter and sulk. All because Amazon is a tease.
And even if it’s not in real life with a person, while staring at that computer screen, you turn me into that psychotic manic depressive girlfriend, Amazon. Not cool.
I’ve been away for a few months. First, it was exams and final grading. Then I got sick. Really sick. Sick for over a month. And then I got back to work and I was just damned tired from playing catch up. I thought, gee, it’s nice to not feel like I have a deadline, maybe I’ll just take a break from the blog for one more week, and it’s not like I’m super popular in blogdom anyways…Then I found out I was not just a little sick, but now I’m I-could-die sick from medicine conflicts. While I figure it out, it’s back to doctor visits, insomnia, and general lack of energy. So no blog.
But sometimes I miss the blog. I get to call my petty bitching “writing”, and occasionally someone will actually hit the Like button. (I mean come on people, throw me a damned bone.) But honestly, I don’t have a lot of energy, and what I do have I burn at work. So I’ll be writing shorter posts, probably, and not on any schedule…
I think I’ll change the blog layout too. There are times you see a woman who is haggard and wilted. You see her put on some red lipstick and you think “that is NOT helping.” But that illusion of “refreshing” is helping her keep her shit together. And god help you if you so much as consider that lipstick isn’t working. She will find the energy to claw off your face. So yeah, I might change the blog color or layout. Just roll with it.
I ditched the blog last week. But first of all, it was a holiday and I doubt anyone was reading anyways, and second, it was black friday. Which means I stay in doors with a shot gun and the blinds closed in case hordes of shoppers take a wrong turn and end up on my street instead of at Walmart. I don’t mess with those zombie hordes.
Anyways. Next week is the beginning of exams and I expect to turn into an exhausted mess of a human being as usual. In fact, that little journey has already started. But I did have a funny thought earlier today that I thought I would share. A great epiphany about the logic of the human mind in an ever changing world…
And there you have it! The reliable logic of the human mind!